A Midsummer Day's Nightmare
by Rebellion of the Kat
Summary: Even in the Underground the unexpected can happen. In other words: Sarah meets David Bowie and Bowie meets Jareth. Just a bit of fun. Please review xxx
1. What's Happenin?

In a place far far away where the sun no longer shines and the howling winds stray with the mists of time, and the screams of young children are heard in the night, and the Goblins turn to dust at the first sign of light. Of course, we are talking about the Underground. The subversive other world where only the brave and resolute make it through. Well across the realm of enchantment through the great and powerful Labyrinth to the steps beyond the Goblin City lies a castle. Not just any castle. A castle whose ruler is a Goblin King, a Goblin King who calls himself…Jareth!

Jareth assembled himself on his throne. A throne made to represent high status and royalty. But Jareth did not feel like a King at all. In fact he felt like he had be dethroned, I mean he had been defeated by a fifteen year old girl, he has every right to feel humiliated. Sitting on the throne is pretty much all he ever did since Sarah had refused him. He no longer gave attention to the disorderly Goblins like he used to, he just didn't care anymore, he didn't even care to trick some other poor girl into wishing her younger sibling away. What was the point in going through all of that again only to be twice rejected. Heck! He didn't even sing anymore! There was no doubt about it, Sarah had broken his spirit

It's not like Jareth was completely shattered. He occasionally attended dinner parties and masquerades with other immortal beings, but he no longer had that spark. The spark that first attracted Sarah to him and made his wrong doings so forgivable.

Sarah on the other hand was the opposite. She had moved on with her life. She had been on dates, graduated from high school and even made amends with her stepmother. Yes, Sarah was living the good life. Well, she wasn't exactly Miss I-Have-Everything. She still had to baby-sit her brother almost every weekend. Not that she ever objected. After what happened last time she felt like it was her moral duty to take care of the now playful, chatty annoying little brother. Toby had grown up well. He was just like any other 4 year-old, bratty, irritating, but oh so adorable. Sarah loved him so much but sometimes she was tired of living the same old life. She wanted to meet someone special. Someone different and new.

So Sarah's parents gave Toby a kiss and went out to one of their usual dinner parties.

"We'll be back no later than eleven o'clock okay Sarah" her dad shouted as he walked out of

the door.

"Okay, have a good time" replied Sarah.

Toby was playing with his train set in the living room. He seemed intently involved so Sarah did well not to disturb him. She sat down on the sofa and put the radio on . Good choice, it was one of her favourite songs; 'London Calling' by The Clash. She danced along to the music and sang with the chorus. She never used to listen to music but as she matured and become more attuned to the world she realised that she loved the sounds of guitars and saxophones and felt that music was a way out of the real world and gave one a more abstract and theoretical approach to real life situations. As the song came to and end Sarah eagerly awaited the next the next tune, so she could once more pretend she was on stage sing live into her microphone/hairbrush.

The next song began with a Chinese-type melody. It was a fast upbeat tune so Sarah started to wiggle and shake. Just as she was about to attempt several spin rotations she heard a man's voice.

"I could escape this feeling…with my China Girl" he sang. Sarah froze in shock.


	2. Who Is He?

Sarah fell over. What was it about that song that made her heart rip out of her fleshy skin. That voice. He sounded familiar. But who was he.

"I feel a wreck without my little China Girl" he continued to sing.

Sarah sat through the rest of the song in shock. She listened intently to the words but even more to the man who crooned them. The song had put her in some kind of bewildering trance. Why would such a song do this she thought.

"That was China Girl by David Bowie" said the radio announcer.

"David Bowie?" Sarah whispered to herself. The name didn't ring any bells, she still had no idea who he was.

Not letting this peculiar moment spoil the rest of her evening, she walked over to Toby and tickled his stomach. She picked him up and swung him up in her arms.

"Time for bed young man."

"No!…Toby no want bed, Toby want choo choo" he screamed.

"No more choo choo for today, little boys need their sleep."

"Nooooo!" he started to get violent, as young boys do, kicking and yelling at her to get off.

"Toby if you don't behave right now I will not be reading you a story."

Toby stopped fighting. He loved Sarah's stories. She told him about the faerie world where they lived in toadstool houses and drank honey suckle juice and granted children's' wishes if the behaved. Sarah of course knew that real fairies were not like this. Back when she was in the Labyrinth she was unfortunate to fall for the pretty fairy act only to get bitten by one. But she didn't want to spoil the fantasy for Toby. The little tot was getting rather tired of all this girly stuff so he introduced the frogs who wanted to eat all of the faeries and take over their land. Well, Sarah might as well have told him about the biting fairies after all.

Toby finally got to sleep leaving Sarah free to make a cup of tea and watch a bit of television before she too decided it was getting late. She went upstairs, brushed her teeth, wiped her face, dressed in her nightgown and surrounded herself in her thick bedcovers and fell to sleep dreaming of who David Bowie could be and why he made such an impact on her.

Sarah woke up with a clear head. She got herself up and dressed and went downstairs ready to begin a new day. Her father and stepmother were already sat around the breakfast table. Toby had more food on his face than in his mouth. Sarah poured herself some cereal and sat herself down.

"How was the party" she asked.

"Oh it was alright" replied her father.

"Yes we particularly enjoyed the Chinese food there didn't we Robert, it was so different to what we usually eat" said her stepmother. "Oh Sarah you should have seen your father trying to use the chopsticks, it was hilarious. He spilt his food all over the chairman's lap and then offered to clean it up for him after! It was so funny! Next time you should come with us Sarah…Sarah are you listening."

Sarah wasn't listening. She had stopped listening when her stepmother said the word 'Chinese'. It reminded her of an event yesterday. When she reacted funnily to the song 'China Girl' by David Bowie.

"Erm..yes it sounded like fun" said Sarah.

"Forever daydreaming you are Sarah" said her father.

"Sorry I was just…Dad have you heard of…David Bowie?"

"Yes, he's a rock star…why do you ask?"

"Oh just doing some research for my music project at stage school…what does he look like?"

"You know, typical rock star, red hair, earring, drug addict, sometimes wears a dress…I suggest you stay clear from that sort of music if you ask me. Why don't you do your research on someone with real talent like Beethoven or…Mozart, I dunno."

"Yes well maybe, anyway I've gotta go meet Lana in a minute I'll see you back home later okay."

"Yes, okay, have fun, watch yourself with those boys."

Sarah walked out of the door. She didn't know why her father was so worried about her. It's not like she went out drinking every night and made out with a guy every time she saw one and it's not like she would turn into a drug addict just because she listened to rock music. In fact Sarah wished that she did go out more and did kiss boys more. Her friend Lana was always encouraging her to come out with her and the girls for some flirting and fun, but Sarah was always too shy.

"Hey Sarah, long time no see" Lana ran up to her friend and gave her a big hug. She wore a mini skirt and strapless top. Her brassy blond hair shone with the sun as she walked, unlike Sarah whose hair had never been introduced to frizz-ease serum and wore the same old jeans and bag t-shirts as she did years ago.

"Hi, what have you been up to lately" Sarah said.

"Oh well you know, boys, boys and more boys." she said. "What about you?". Before Sarah got time to answer Lana continued talking. "I went to this club last night, and they had so many hot guys there you wouldn't believe, and it played the most awesome music there, I really wish you'd come out more with us Sarah. You would have loved it, well actually I never hear you talk about boys or music, what exactly are you into these days" sad Lana.

"Well…erm…yesterday I was listening to the radio and heard a cool song by…erm…David Bowie I think" Sarah said this in hope that her friend would approve of this type of music. If Sarah hated on thing it was being laughed at by her friends.

"Oh really, you like him, cool, me too, in fact my friend Jessie has got an extra ticket to see him in concert, do you wanna come?"

Sarah would usually reject the idea of spending time with people she didn't know but for some reason she really wanted to find out more about this David Bowie and why she was so distressed by his voice.

"Okay it sounds like fun" she said.


	3. The Concert

Big mistake. Sarah wished she hadn't agreed to go to that concert but her friends were set. She simply had nothing to wear. Lana rang her up the day before and told her about this very revealing dress she had bought and expensive jewellery. The only dresses Sarah had were her old make-believe princess dresses and the only jewellery she had was cheap fake gold and plastic beads. She rarely even wore make up. Since she had come out of the Labyrinth Sarah had turned into a bit of a tomboy. She felt that dressing up and putting on lipstick were all things of the past.

So she raided through her closet and found the smartest black trousers she could find and an old white top which she had customised herself with glitter gel and diamanté's. She didn't exactly look like she was going for a night on the town but it was an improvement from her usual attire. She shoved on a load of beads and necklaces and invaded her old make-up box which contained a bright red lipstick and some glitter powder. After applying her make-up Sarah looked pretty wild, but then again she is going to a Bowie concert.

At first her father completely rebuffed the idea of Sarah going to a concert but Sarah's stepmother insisted that it was good that she was going out. It was a good job that Sarah disguised the fact that it was a Bowie concert. She told her father that she was seeing her old local school band. If he knew the real truth he would have gone ape.

Sarah met her friends outside the doors to the concert. Inevitably they looked much more sassier and mature than she did, but the beauty prize was still up for grabs. They went to their seats and awaited for David to appear on stage. They had a pretty good view as the room was not very big. Sarah wondered how someone could afford such tickets but Lana explained that her friend had relatives with good contacts and she's always getting good tickets for the most famous music artists.

Suddenly, music started beaming out from every direction of the room, the crowd went wild as the curtains slowly opened, fans stood up out of their seats and wave their hands in the air like they just didn't care. Sarah looked around. 'This Bowie character must be something real special' she thought to herself. Fans were literally throwing themselves on stage. They went crazy!

"You've got your mother in a whirl, she's not sure if you're a boy or a girl.."

Sarah gasped as David came on stage and straight away began to sing. She almost fainted at the sight of him. His face looked strikingly familiar, and she knew exactly who he looked like. He had the same chiselled features, the same satirical grin and the same melodic voice. Her father had been wrong. David did not have red hair nor did he wear a dress. He wore a smart grey suit which fit perfectly around his shapely body. As for being a drug addict, it was too hard to tell. She looked closer at his face on the big screen. He even had the same straight nose and mismatched eyes. Sarah felt very confused. Is David Bowie really Jareth? Is Jareth really David Bowie? Or is it all just a huge coincidence. She looked around at her friends. They seemed to be enjoying themselves, they knew the song word for word. As they were near to the front of the stage David kept waving at her friends and they waved back, whereas Sarah just stared at him in amazement.

As the evening progressed Sarah began to loosen up. There was no way she could figure out why this singer looked so much like the Goblin King so she decided to go with the flow. After all, her friends were getting suspicious.

"Sarah you look like you've seen a ghost" one girl said. "I know he's handsome but you don't have to gawp at him like he's from outer space. Come on let your hair down, enjoy it!!"

Sarah knew she was right. She might as well enjoy herself at a show that so many other Bowie fans dreamed of going to. So she danced and had fun with her friends. Actually, she found his music to be quite spectacular. It was so different from the usual 80's pop she had heard recently. His lyrics were peculiar but at the same time inspirational. She even decide that her favourite song of the night was 'Wild Is The Wind' as it had rather a gloomy undertone that reminded her of the atmosphere of the Underground. What's more, Sarah had forgotten all about Jareth and became more and more interested in Bowie and he seemed to take a shining interest in Sarah. He occasionally caught Sarah's eye and gave her a wink and a smile. And whenever Sarah's friends waved at him he didn't pay no attention. Instead he waved at Sarah and she coyly smiled back. She wondered what it was about her that made such a prestigious rock star want to focus so much of his stage time on her. Maybe it was because she was the only girl who was not dressed like a teenage prostitute. Whatever the case she enjoyed his attention.

When the concert had finished David said his thank you's and goodnight's and Sarah and her friends proceeded to the main doors.

"Well that was fun" said Sarah. "Are we going to share a cab or have you got other arrangements."

"What do you mean Sarah" said Lana. "Didn't we tell you, we've got backstage passes as well. You ain't going anywhere babes. We're going to meet the man himself."

"Oh know I really should be getting home" Sarah said.

"Look you're dad knows that you don't have to be home until eleven-thirty right." 

"Yes but.."

"Well it's only ten. So what the hell is wrong with you, it's David Bowie for Pete's sake."

"Okay, okay, I'll go" said Sarah reluctantly.


	4. Backstage

They walked through to the backstage area where they showed the security guards their tickets. They entered a large smoky room where there were many tables and chairs and a bar at the end. Around some tables their were security guards, around others there were assistants and in the distance Sarah noticed a crowd of fans being broken up by a horde of bouncers. They were all shooed away as evidently they were not supposed to be there. When all the fans had gone a man was left there alone with a drink in one hand and a cigarette in the other. He looked tired but also very captivating. He had one of those faces where if he was just an ordinary man walking down the street he would turn heads because he was so damn handsome.

Sarah's friends decided that they would not risk approaching him as they did not want to get kicked out before they had even arrived, so they went to the bar to get a drink. Sarah figured it would be best if she did not go with them as she knew that her young face and childish clothes would give her age away. So she sat down at a nearby table and watched David Bowie in the corner of her eye. She couldn't believe how very much he looked like Jareth. In some ways she thought he looked even more handsome. He had dirty blonde medium length hair. His face was pale but not as pale as Jareth's. His manner was much less authoritative and pretentious. In fact he looked rather down-to-earth and ordinary with his relaxed stance and silly behaviour. One thing that Sarah did notice was that he and Jareth both had charisma. They both knew how to charm a girl and both could captivate somebody with just one look.

Sarah was already entranced by him as she didn't notice that he was walking over to her.

"Mind if I join you" he asked politely.

"Oh…no, of course" she said. "My name is Sarah."

"Oh Hi Sarah, I'm David Bowie" he said teasingly. "So did you enjoy it tonight then, you and your erm friends looked like you were having fun."

Sarah noticed that her friends were now staring at her and David in amazement.

"Yes it was great, you're a great singer. I love all you're your songs."

Sarah felt stupid saying that when really she hadn't heard of hardly any of his songs and she hoped he wouldn't ask her which ones she liked.

"So which songs of mine do you like then."

Damn it she thought.

"Well I like…erm…that China one and…um…y'know the one about wind and.."

"You really don't know any of my songs do you Sarah" said David.

Sarah sighed "No I don't, I'm sorry, I only heard about you yesterday, but I really enjoyed the show tonight."

"It's okay, y'know I've always liked the song about wind too."

David laughed, he had the same cackle as Jareth. Sarah liked this fact and laughed along with him too. Then he took a drag of his cigarette and smiled at her.

"So can I get you a drink?"

"Oh no thanks I'm okay."

"No best to stay away from it, I should know."

"What you're an alcoholic?" Sarah said feeling embarrassed by her sudden blunt remark. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologise…you really don't know me at all do you. Well let's just say I used have many problems, but I'm an honest man now, completely sober. See"

He held up his drink and Sarah realised he was drinking water.

"Oh well good" said Sarah.

"These things are my only guilty sins now." He takes another puff of his cigarette. "But you gotta have something to keep your ego in tact don't ya."

Sarah smiled. She had really warmed to David. They spent the rest of their time laughing and joking. It seemed like Bowie found Sarah's naivety refreshing and Sarah found David's charm new and exciting. The minutes passed and Sarah realised it was getting late. She didn't even notice her friends get kicked out half an hour ago.

"This has been fun…if I'm not being too bold, erm…can I see you again" David said.

Sarah felt something she had never felt before. Acceptance. No one had ever taken an interest in her like this. All of her past dates had been set up by her friends and most of them never wanted to see her again. Sarah didn't care that he was a famous star and she didn't care that he was old enough to be her dad, for Jareth was much older and she had once fallen for him. She like David's charismatic personality and was determined to see him again.

"Yes of course."

"By the way, how old are you? Not meaning to be rude."

"I'm twenty-one."

Okay so she lied a little, but only by a few years and it's not like aged really matters in a relationship.


	5. Father And Son

Two weeks later and Sarah was getting serious about David much to the amazement of her friends. They called her a 'tramp' and a 'slut' but only because they were extremely jealous. Who wouldn't be.

Sarah didn't care. She was just so happy that someone liked her. She knew that there was something she still had to figure out about him. She often wondered that maybe the only reason she fell for him in the first place was because he resembled Jareth. She was planning to ask him about it all someday soon but for now she was just taking time to appreciate the man who saw her beauty instead of a bunch of screaming prostitute look-a-likes.

She even made a bond with his son who was called Joey at the time. Joey was two years younger than Sarah but that didn't bother her or David. She would never want to be his mother, just his friend.

As Sarah had never slept with a man before her first time with David was very scary for her. But he said that he had had done it many times with many women and she had nothing to worry about. Jokingly he laughed and took her in the arms as they made sweet passionate love. Sarah felt relieved that she was no longer a virgin and that her friends could no longer call her anymore.

"David…I think it's time for you to meet my parents" she said.

He agreed and the next day they went to her house. When Sarah's father saw David Bowie walk through his door unsurprisingly he was knocked for six.

"What?! Sarah what…what is David Bowie doing in my house?" he said.

Sarah's stepmother had a different approach. She looked at David with pure fascination.

"He's my new boyfriend" said Sarah.

"He the same age as me!" said her father. "Are you INSANE!"

"Actually he's a little younger than you. And no I'm not insane. For the first time in my life I feel normal."

"NORMAL!" Sarah's father could not control his emotions. "He's a drug addict."

"No he's not, he used to be."

"USED TO BE!! Sarah you will never see him again."

"What?"

"You heard me Sarah. I will call the police."

"Oh yeah and say what?" demanded Sarah.

"Anything! I'll tell them he's a been assaulting you, I'll tell them he's a drug dealer, but you will not see him again do you understand?"

Sarah had never seen him so angry. She ran past him upstairs to her room. Her stepmother guided her father to the living room before he did something he would regret. At this moment David Bowie took the chance to follow Sarah up to her room.

"He can't do this, David he can't do this" Sarah said.

"I know" said David. "But what else is there to do."

"I know exactly what we can do."

Sarah went up to her mirror and looked hard.

"I need you Hoggle. I need you."

David looked very puzzled and concerned.

"Look Sarah dear, why don't you have a lie down, you're going delusional." 

Suddenly an ugly Goblin appeared in the mirror. Hoggle looked pleased to see Sarah but as he turned his attention towards David he stared in disbelief. David stared back also in shock before he fainted. Sarah ran towards him and patted his face. He woke up and looked at Sarah.

"Sarah I just had the weirdest dream" said David. "There was this little dwarf and he appeared in your mirror."

Sarah helped him up, but all he did was faint again when he took another look at the mirror.

"Is he alright?" said Hoggle.

"He'll be fine."

Sarah heard her fathers footsteps coming up the stairs.

"Hoggle, there's no time to explain. But you have got to take me to the Underground."

"Take you to the Underground. Take you to the Underground. I'll never take you to the Underground."

"Hoggle please. I'll give you all of my jewellery please please please."

"Alright alright. Hurry up."

Hoggle reached out his hands so that they came out of the mirror. Sarah dragged the drowsy David Bowie up to the mirror and placed his hand in Hoggles'. David jumped a little but Sarah told him to be calm. Sarah took hold of Hoggles' other hand and he pulled them both into the mirror. They vanished into thin air just in the nick of time before Sarah's father walked in only to find no one there.


	6. Look Baby

Meanwhile in the castle Jareth had perked up a bit. He was even singing again. Faint music could be heard. Jareth looking rather annoyed stood up and walked over to a laughing goblin. The music began to get louder. Jareth started to sing (in a similar kind of tune to Magic Dance).

_Jareth: Do you know who I am_

_Goblin: You're the king_

_Jareth: The king of what_

_Goblin: The labyrinth_

_Jareth: The king of a world where fantasies come true_

_Goblin: Like having all the beer you could want_

_Jareth: Like being the queen beside a king. This curse was not just made for me and you._

_Verse 1:_

_I see the future soon colliding with my past_

_What can I do_

_My baby boy has gone and left him feeling blue_

_Nobody knew_

_What kind of magic spells to use_

_(Eye of newt and vomit fruit, lizards left eye)_

_And now we play (Eye spy)_

_Chorus:_

_Look baby look (Look baby look)_

_See baby see (See baby see)_

_Put your magic eye on me, I'm the hunger that you feed _

_Look baby look (Look baby look)_

_See baby see (See baby see)_

_Don't be shy don't walk away, I'm the one who'll cure your pain…._

In the meantime Sarah and David Bowie walked through a large forest that Sarah had seen before on her last journey in the Underground.

"Cor blimey" said David. "I don't like this, what the hell are we doing here Sarah. I've dealt with aliens and other strange happenings before but I've never been somewhere like this."

He had been moaning for several minutes now. Even Sarah was getting tired of his whinging. She wished he'd been a bit more brave and daring like her. Like Jareth even. They walked and walked for a long while. Both of them were feeling pretty hungry but the repulsive stench coming from afar soon put them off of any food.

"Err Yuk" squirmed David.

"What is it now?" asked Sarah impatiently.

"That disgusting smell. Yuk. That's the worst thing I've ever whiffed up in my entire life. And believe me there has been a lot of nasty smells in my life, including Jagger. This reminds me of a film I was in a while ago with some bog of everlasting stench or something like that. The Labyrinth it was called. Hey and you look like the actress who played my co-star. I never noticed that before."

Sarah paused in total shock. Her eyes widened, her lips parted. What did he just say.

Back in the castle, Jareth's song continues:

_Verse 2:_

_I see the future, I watch it die and feel it fade_

_What can I do_

_My precious thing has gone, and played me like a fool_

_Nobody knew_

_What kind of magic spells to use_

_(Pigs right ear, I'm over here, kangaroo's thing)_

_And now we play (Watching)_

_Chorus:_

_Look baby look (Look baby look)_

_See baby see (See baby see)_

_Put your magic eye on me, I'm the hunger that you feed _

_Look baby look (Look baby look)_

_See baby see (See baby see)_

_Don't be shy don't walk away, I'm the one who'll cure your pain…._


	7. The Confrontation

"What did you say?" said Sarah.

They had walked out of the forest and were approaching the Goblin City. They could see the gates just beyond the bridge in the distance.

"Alright alright Jagger don't smell that bad, he just whiffs a bit after he's been jumping around on stage for a while" Bowie said, not realising what Sarah really wanted to here.

"No, not about him, about the movie. Y'know the Labyrinth."

"Oh right, yeah I was in a movie called the Labyrinth a few years ago. I played a Goblin King whose name was Jareth. Quite surreal I know, but then again I've done Laughing Gnome so anything is possible."

Sarah fainted.

"Sarah" said David. "Sarah are you alright?"

He ran up to her and knelt beside her. He shook her wildly but still she would not wake. David wasn't sure what to do when a girl fainted. He was in a panic. He tried pushing her and slapping her but nothing would work. Then he remembered about artificial respiration. He puckered up his lips and lowered to give her the kiss of life before…

"STOP!". It was Jareth. He pushed David out of the way so brutally he tumbled over many times. Jareth knelt beside Sarah and looked into her eyes. His gaze enclosed a hunger that craved for this young girls purity. He had longed for her to love him yet in three years she had never asked for him or dreamed of him, she hardly ever even thought about him. Jareth loathed the man who he had pushed so harshly a few seconds ago. He turned his head around to look at him and was amazed to find that David was already gaping at Jareth in disbelief. Bowie couldn't believe it. Why was he staring at the man he once played in a children's film and why was that man kneeling beside the girl he now realised was Sarah played by Jennifer Connelly.

"What's happening?" asked David.

"And who do you think you are, impostor!" shouted Jareth.

"What, who am I? I am you…or…you are me. You're not supposed to be real. I don't understand. I must be dreamin', this has gotta be a dream." David Bowie was very very confused as was Jareth.

"What is a man who is the clone of myself, but with a much worse taste in clothing doing with my Sarah?" said Jareth. He looked at David's clothes. He flinched that such a man would dress in such a way. He wore a baggy jumpsuit-type garment with a checked pattern going across the full length of it. His bleached hair was gelled back in such a messy way that strings of hair were flying about everywhere. David too, examined Jareth's attire and looked in repugnance at the clothes that Jim Henson made him once wear. That pineapple hairstyle, a frilly white shirt, tacky eye-blinding sequins and yuk!! Breeches! David looked at Jareth's trousers for a second and realised that maybe Jim Henson did well to reveal his lion's share in such a generous way. But back in focus he realised that he was staring at a man who he used to be!

"Okay let's get this straight" said David. "One minute I'm in love with Sarah, who I now realise to be the girl who co-starred in the Labyrinth and now…"

"What the hell are you talking about?" snapped Jareth. "I am in love with Sarah."

"Yes in the film" said David. 

"What film!!" shouted Jareth. 

"Oh, the bloody film that I was in three bloody years ago and I was you!" David said.

They both had forgotten that Sarah was still unconscious on the ground. 

"Can somebody explain what is going on here?" asked Jareth not sure who he directed that question at.

"I can explain" someone said.

A woman appeared from the distance. Well, at least it looked like a woman. More like a robot-woman. Her face was silver and her body was almost see-through. All over her were television screens and internet websites, like she was a walking media centre. Computer-type writing covered her body. Occasionally images would pop-up on her shoulder or abdomen. They were pictures of Jareth and Sarah and sometimes David Bowie.

"Who are you" they both asked.

"I am Labyanna. The moderator of everything relating to this Labyrinth. I am the supervisor of every webpage, forum, fanfic and comment made about the story of the Labyrinth and I have come to explain why you two are here right this very moment."

Jareth and David gawped at Labyanna, then they look at each other, still gawping, then looked back at Labyanna so she could continue talking.

"You see, so many fans became infatuated with the movie, and so many fans became obsessed with the character of Jareth that they started to believe he was actually real. They would dream about him, wish for him to come and take away their siblings and make up stories about the continuing adventures of Jareth an Sarah. And once someone is believed in by so many people, he becomes real, and the stories and dreams also become real. So David, because of your mesmerising performance as the great Goblin King in the Labyrinth, you have created an alter-ego that now lives in this very world and rules the land of the goblins with all his heart. You two were never meant to meet each other, but that girl over there has brought you together and now you must decide what to do with this secret."

Jareth and David looked at Sarah, she was breathing but still unaware of this whole event.

"So does that mean Sarah is a made-up character too" asked Jareth.

"Yes" said Labyanna. "For not only you were loved by the fans, but they loved Sarah too, so she became real. If it wasn't for Jennifer Connelly's great performance, Sarah would not be living on this earth. You two will do well to make sure that Sarah never finds out about this and make sure she never see's Jennifer Connelly."

Labyanna vanished. Well, the truth had been told and now Jareth and David were left to pick up the pieces of this hole utter mess. Jareth lifted Sarah up into his arms and they all went to his castle to figure out what they will do next.


	8. Sarah And Bowie And Jareth

"I can't believe that because of my great acting skills, one of my characters has come alive" said David as he hugged the Goblin King who he now felt very proud of.

"Get off me" retorted Jareth. For he had more pain to take in than David. He had just found out that his whole entire life was a lie. He often wondered why he couldn't remember any of his childhood. He never knew why he was actually the Goblin King. He had never been allocated the role, or stumbled across it by mistake. He was just there.

"Well, would you care to join me for a drink" asked Jareth.

"Oh no I shouldn't, I've quit drinking."

"Oh go on, I insist, after all you have got something to celebrate."

David looked at Jareth inquisitively. "What?" he asked.

"You're acting skills of course. Why if you've done such a wonderful performance to create me, then your acting career is sure to be soaring high in years to come. I can imagine you'll be winning many Oscars over the years" said Jareth who was secretly mocking him.

"Yeah, you're right, I do deserve a drink."

Jareth poured a glass of strong whisky into his goblet and handed it to David.

"Cheers" he said.

* * *

In the meantime, Sarah awoke in a room. She had been asleep on Jareth's throne and as she opened her eyes she noticed hundreds of goblins staring at her. She looked at one of them.

"David?" she asked.

They all burst out laughing.

"No me not David, David Bowie over in beer room" the goblin said.

Sarah got up. Still a little shaky, she stumbled out of the throne room and in to the main castle corridors. Her hair was a mess and her clothes were dirty. She had no idea what she was doing in Jareth's castle but she sure wanted to find out. She looked around, but didn't know where to go.

"Looking for me are you, or looking for David Bowie?"

Sarah turned around. Jareth was staring at her with a slight look of disappointment. Sarah's eyes widened. She knew he looked the same as David Bowie but she didn't realise that he had an inner beauty in him that was so downright different. His eyes were remarkable. They told tales of grief and misery, but also longing and lost love. Her heart was beating. She knew that it wasn't David she loved. She only went out with him because he reminded her so much of the one and only Jareth. Jareth's face loosened up. He smiled, and then took her hand and planted a quick but skin-tingling kiss on it.

"Where, where's David?" asked Sarah trembling a little.

Jareth's face sharpened. He walked past Sarah and raised his hand to opene a door which led to a dark room where Sarah could hear someone singing. She walked up to the room and peeked her head though the door. To her amazement she saw David, looking intoxicated, drunkenly yodelling to the goblins who surrounded him.

"_It's only forever…not long at all!" _he sang as his whole body shook with his clumsiness.

Sarah looked at Jareth. His mouth twitched trying desperately not to laugh. But Sarah broke this sincerity by bursting out with laughter herself. Jareth cackled along with her as David continued to sing.

"_No one can shame you, for talking toady"_

He clearly was too smashed to remember the words.

"_Too much erection na na, no glove affection, na, na."_

"Is that my ex in there!" someone said.

Jareth and Sarah looked round. A woman was standing there. She was rather beautiful, blonde curly hair, red pouting lips and butterfly eyelashes.

"Who are you" asked Jareth.

"Why handsome, my name is Angie." She looked at David again. "I knew he wouldn't be able to keep away from the drink for long." She laughed then looked back at Jareth who she was obviously smitten with.

"To be fair it wasn't really his fault" said Sarah who was ignored by Angie.

"How did you get here" asked Jareth.

"I've been following David for weeks trying to reunite with him so I could see me son, only to find that he was dating this little tramp here."

Jareth looked at Sarah, Sarah was in shock that someone would call her a tramp.

"But I don't care about him anymore" Angie continued. "Because I've found someone much much sexier to focus my attention on."

Angie put her arms around Jareth's hair. He clearly had not been uses to such forwardness. She puckered up her lips and was ready to kiss him when he ran away.

"Come back here darlin'" she said as she chased after him.

* * *

_Author__'s Note: I hope to finish this story soon. I apologise for portraying David Bowie in such a way. I am a big fan really and this was only a bit of fun. Bowie rocks!!! Also I apologise for portraying Jareth in such a way. I am also a big Jareth fan and like I said this was only a bit of fun, or a snooze-fest for those who hated it. _

_P.S. Please review. Even if you hated it. Constructive criticism would be best. Please don't kill me!!! Thanks : - P_


	9. Wild Goose Chase

Sarah watched as Angie chased after Jareth. David Bowie drunkenly stumbled over to Sarah and put his hand over her shoulder.

"Well_…(hiccup)…_I guess it's just you and me, me and you eh?" he said.

Sarah shrugged him off, disgusted in the man she had been dating. He was nothing like Jareth. She could see that as she looked into his eyes. He didn't have the nobility or the magical charm. David started singing to her again, this time in a much slower and drunken voice.

"Noooo one can blaaame youuuu!" he sang softly as he looked into her eyes.

Sarah huffed and pushed him away, not realising that he was so unstable that he tumbled to the floor. He didn't bother to get up. He just lay there with his body spread out on the floor. To Sarah's annoyance he continued to sing.

"For taallking toodaayy!" he sang.

"Why me" Sarah sighed.

* * *

Meanwhile, the chase between Angie and Jareth was still continuing. 

"Come on darlin', let me show you a good time!" yelled Angie.

"Look, as fine as a woman you are, you're just not my type, now leave me ALONE!" shouted Jareth as he ran. Then he remembered. Why was he running? He could transform into an owl for goodness sake. Jareth disappeared from Angie's sight a few seconds before a beautiful white owl appeared and flew straight past her. Angie stopped running and stood there confused.

"If he just disappeared like that" she said to herself, "and an owl appeared as if like magic, then that must mean…that he is the owl, yes, I figured it out. I'm smart!" she said delightedly.

Jareth the owl perched on a rock. If owls could sigh, Jareth would sigh with relief. He was just glad that no one had seen him run around like that. Well, except for that crazy Angie, but what does that matter…she's stupid.

"Gotcha" Angie said as she leaped upon the owl and caught it with her bare hands. Jareth screeched. Looks like she wasn't so stupid after all.

"Now you're mine, and there's no escape!" she cackled.

* * *

In the meantime, a slightly sobered Bowie and Sarah were trying to find Jareth so they could find a way out of this crazy place. 

"This has been one hell of a strange day" said Bowie. "First of all I see a dwarf in the mirror, then I come here, then I meet myself but with a weird pineapple haircut, then I find out that I'm the best actor in the world and I'm gonna win loads of Oscars. Unbelievable! Well, bye bye singing career. I doubt I can get any better at singing anyway. I mean, you can't beat Life On Mars can you. So it looks like I'll be an actor from now on. What movies do you think I should star in Sarah?"

"Oh I don't know, maybe you should play that crazy scientist guy Nikola Telsa who does magic, or you could be a judge in a male model fashion walk-off, or do the voice for a underwater cartoon character. " she said.

David Bowie laughed.

"Now what kind of madcap lunatic would ever do that!" he said patting Sarah on the head. "There's so much you need to learn about the world of show business Sarah."

Sarah grunted, she thought her ideas were rather good.

"Now we need to try and find a way out of here" she said.

"Maybe we should go in that dark scary spine-chilling, bone-shaking cave" said David seriously.

"Don't be stupid" said Sarah looking at the cave. "You're obviously still drunk, that's the most foolish idea anyone has ever had."

"Oh yeah, well it's better than your underwater scientist judging a magic show idea." David said as he walked into the cave. Sarah chased after him.

"David don't you'll…"

"Ahhhhhhhhh!" Bowie screamed as he fell down into the hole in the cave.

"Fall" Sarah finished saying before she too jumped in after him.

* * *

Sarah slowly fell into the never-ending pit, she had no idea of what would await her at the bottom. Would it be a fire-breathing dragon, a venomous python, a raid of arachnids. She did not know. But what she could hear was a woman screaming below her. She looked down. It was no woman. It was David Bowie. 

"Ahhhhhh!" he screeched as Sarah fell on top of him.

"Get off me" he said. "Bloody woman."

David and Sarah stood up.

"Why does everything 'appen to me" said David.

"Well maybe if you didn't scream like a girl" argued Sarah.

"I do not scream like a girl." he snapped.

"Excuse me do you mind, I'd like some quiet while I'm trying to nap please." said a voice.

David turned his head around and his girlish scream became apparent as he clapped eyes on his ex-wife…Angie!

"See I told you, you scream like a girl" laughed Sarah.

"Ange, what are you doing 'ere. Did you create a fictional character too?" asked David. They noticed that Angie was sitting on the floor clutching hold of a helpless owl.

"No you fool" she said. "I followed you here. I been hunting you down for weeks trying to talk to you about our son Zowie."

"Hah, well you're out of luck, because you don't have a son called Zowie. He's changed his name to Joey now." said Bowie.

"So what! My real name is Mary but it doesn't mean that I'm not your ex-wife anymore, does it." she said.

"What?" said David stunned. "You're real name isn't Angie…you…you…lied to me. I can't believe it. All this time I was married to someone called…Mary?!" he said.

"Since we're making confessions here" said Sarah, "I might as well tell you that I'm not really twenty-one. I'm eighteen."

"WHAT?!" yelled David. He looked at the owl that Angie was holding. "And who are you Woody Woodpecker!" he said.

The owl struggled out of Angie's hands and bit her hand before returning to his human form.

"No I'm Jareth" he said staring evilly at Angie.

"Oh no not the pineapple headed man again, I can't be doing much more of this." said David to himself.

"You son of a bh" said Angie to Jareth. "Why did you bite me."

Jareth ignored her. He walked over to Sarah and gazed in her eyes.

"Sarah, I've lost you once before, I do not want to lose you again", Jareth said as he took hold of her hand.

"Hey, no one takes my girl, Sarah is mine" said David as he took her other hand.

"No she isn't you IDIOT. She is mine" said Jareth as he pulled Sarah.

"You conniving, randy, bogus old queen" said David as he also pulled Sarah.

"Nobody defies me!" shouted Jareth.

Sarah felt like a rag doll, being pushed around by two men. Nevertheless she enjoyed them fighting over her. She had never gotten this much male attention in…well, forever!

After hours of fighting, none of them realised that they were trapped in a cave without any food. They were all really too tired to argue anymore.

"Look" said Sarah, "we might as well all get some sleep, then tomorrow we will figure out a way to get out of here okay."

So they all found a space on the floor and slept until the morning greeted them.


	10. Hobgoblins

The morning light seeped in through the hole at the top of the cave. Jareth woke up first. He shrieked as he noticed that David Bowie had unconsciously wrapped his arms around Jareth.

"GET OFF ME YOU FOOL!" Jareth shouted, awaking the startled Bowie.

"What's going on, where am I, Ange did you get the toilet paper!" he said.

David sat up and noticed that he was right next to Jareth.

"Oh sorry I…err…was having a dream…I am still here" said Bowie.

Jareth mockingly stared at him.

"What the hell are you doing sleeping right next to me!" he shouted.

"Sorry!" he said sarcastically. "For God's sake it was just a harmless mistake. Anyway didn't you know that I was bi. I go both ways you know." said David.

Jareth looked in shock. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"So you decide to come and sleep with YOURSELF!!" he shouted.

Their argument woke up Sarah and Angie. Angie jumped up gleefully.

"Morning everyone" she said.

Sarah gazed around the room, fazed by this whole outrageous situation she was in. As her eyes darted around she noticed a pair of eyes gleaming at her from a dark corner of the cave. She screamed. As the eyes came into the light she noticed that it was just a goblin.

"Phew!" she sighed.

Then suddenly, hundreds of goblins came into sight. They all stood there staring at the four humans. Sarah noticed that Jareth was looking scared.

"They're only goblins Jareth" she laughed.

"Oh no" he said. "These are not just goblins. These are hobgoblins."

"There's no difference" said Sarah.

"YES THERE IS" he snapped. She forget how temperamental he was. "This is their cave. And if somebody intrudes on their territory then…"

"Then what" said David.

"Then they get mad." said Jareth evilly.

"Ahhhhhhh!" screamed David. "I can't afford to die. I've still got a life to live, I've got Oscars to win, I've got children to have, I've got…"

Jareth slapped David Bowie across the face.

"Snap out of it!" he shouted. "Now everyone…stay calm!

It was too late to stay calm. The hobgoblins were already mad.

"CHARGE!!" one shouted.

All of them ran towards the humans and began attacking them. They pulled Sarah's hair. They smacked Angie's face. They tugged at Jareth's tights and as for Bowie…well, they seemed to find him most amusing, so they picked him up and threw him about in the air.

"HELP!" he shouted, but no one could help him, even if they actually wanted to.

The hobgoblins didn't really harm any of them. They just did what annoyed them most. Sarah tried hard not to let her hair get messed up. Angie's face was now smeared in lipstick. Not a pleasant sight! Jareth tried desperately hard to pull his breeches up. He didn't want to lose all of his dignity. He didn't want Sarah to see what underpants he was wearing, not when he was supposed to be the majestic Goblin King. Bowie felt sick with all the ups and downs. Probably because of all he drank the night before. His head swirled around with dizziness and pain. At one point the thought he could actually see stars! If he were drunk he would be singing Starman right now.

Eventually all the mayhem stopped. They wondered why the hobgoblins had given up on them. It wasn't like they had gotten bored. They found it very amusing seeing them all suffer.

"Why have they stopped Jareth" said Sarah.

"I haven't the faintest idea. The only thing that can stop a hobgoblin is their raging hormones but…"

Jareth stopped talking as he noticed that all of the hobgoblins were forming a queue. As they followed the line they saw that they were queuing up to see Angie. Angie sat there smooching each hobgoblin as they all took turns to sit on her lap. Jareth, Sarah and Bowie all laughed at the sight.

"Well she won't be bothering us anymore." said Jareth.

Angie looked up at the others.

"Look, do you three mind getting out of here so me and the hobbies can get down to the real business" said Angie.

"Well we'll need some help getting out" said Sarah. Then she realised that Angie did not like speaking to her. She nudged David to talk to her.

"Well we'll need some help getting out" he said.

Angie instructed all of the hobgoblins to form a tower, so that each of them in turn could climb up and out of the pit. Jareth, Sarah and Bowie all got out safely.

"Hey I thought you could turn into an owl, couldn't you just have flown out" said David to Jareth.

Jareth stood their with a shocked looked on his face. The shock soon turned to embarrassment when he realised that he in fact could have gotten out of the cave all along.

David and Sarah secretly laughed at him as they walked back to the castle.

* * *

Back at the castle and the three sorrowful humans all sat together.

"What a day" sighed Bowie.

"I know" said Sarah.

"Well you know what, there's one thing that will cheer us all up." said David as he held out a bottle of vodka that he had secretly hidden.

Later that evening…

"_It's onlllly…" _sang David

"_It's onllly…" _sand Jareth.

"_FOREVER!" _they both sang together as they put their arms on each others shoulders.

"Not long at all" Sarah joined in.

"Lost and lonely" they all sang.

"Underground, UNDERGROUNNNND!"


	11. Realisations

(DOORBELL)

Sarah's father came to the door.

"Oh hello Lana." he said.

"Hi, is Sarah here." said Lana.

"Well she was, but then she went, but she didn't go, I mean…" he said making Lana confused.

"Well can I come in and see her" she said.

"O…okay" said her dad.

* * *

Lana went upstairs to Sarah's room. When she opened the door she gazed in shock. She saw that Sarah's mirror had hands coming out of it. Lana screamed. The hands came out further. Then the hands turn into arms, then came the legs. Lana couldn't believe what she was seeing. Sarah was actually walking out of her mirror. Sarah arrived at her room seeing her friend gawping at her.

"Hi Lana" Sarah said as she walked straight past her and out of her room.

Lana was even more surprised to see the one and only David Bowie walk out of the mirror too.

"How you doing" he said, also walking past her.

Then came the icing on the cake…Jareth walked out of the mirror.

"Hi…" he started to say until he realised that Lana had fainted. He too walked out of Sarah's room and downstairs.

* * *

Sarah's father stared in horror as he saw his little girl with two crazy-looking men standing by her. He looked at David.

"You! You will pay for this" he shouted.

"Ooh what are you gonna do - call the police" said David as he laughed.

Then something attracted Bowie from outside of the open front door, so he walked off.

"I'm not finished with you" he yelled at Bowie before turning back to Sarah. "Sarah where did you go" asked her stressed out father.

"Look I'm sorry for scaring you dad, but I'm back now, I'm home okay." she said.

"But it's not okay" said her dad. "You're still with that drugged-up rock star!" said her Dad.

"No, no I'm not" said Sarah. "I've met someone else. Dad meet my new love, his name is Jareth."

Sarah's father slowly looked up at the strange-looking man with the wild hair, who now put his hand around Sarah's waist. He gawped in astonishment.

"Get back with Bowie Sarah" he said. "Please get back with David Bowie."

Sarah and Jareth laughed as they walked out the door to meet David, who was intently involved in a conversation with a woman.

* * *

"Oh hi Sarah, Jareth. This is Iman." he said as the woman shook their hands. "Isn't she bloody gorgeous" he said.

Then they all put their arms around each other and strolled away into the sunset. Wait…you say, what about Lana?, she's still unconscious upstairs, and what about Sarah's dad - will he actually call the police? What will happen to the Labyrinth now. Is Angie going to stay there forever. And what will Jenny Connelly say when she sees Sarah and Jareth. Well, that's another story!

The End!

* * *

(END CREDITS: PLAYING UNDERGROUND)

A/N - So, that's the true story of how Bowie met Iman, how Sarah fell for Jareth, and how Angie disappeared off the face of the planet. As Labyanna said, if you wish for something hard enough it will become real. So never give up. Keep dreaming, and be true to yourself. I know I will.

Again, I'm really really really sorry Bowie. I know you're not really some crazy, dimwitted freak, in fact you're completely the opposite. So I do apologise. I'm the stupid one for actually thinking that you'll be reading this.

Reviews pleasexxxxxx

Don't kill me!! I had fun writing this story, even if you didn't like reading it so plghdhfdjhfdjhf.


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